At the end of 2008, I wrote a post discussing the changes I went through that year, and the things I hoped to achieve in 2009. In the same spirit, I'm going to review the past year to see how well I did in keeping with 2009's Resolutions, and make some more for 2010. Here goes.....
By the end of 2008, I had spent slightly more than a year in the workforce, and I had already realized that it wasn't totally for me. I said at that time that my career choice was correct, and I can understand even now why I felt that way. I have since realized, however, that it would take a large amount of luck for this career to truly help me reach my life goals. While I do enjoy design, I now believe that it is best that I practice it as a hobby, not a way of life.
Therefore, much of my 2009 was spent researching various ways to alter my life's path so that it would help me achieve as many of my goals as possible. After identifying the things I most wanted to achieve, I looked into becoming a flight attendant, then looked into private aviation schools, and finally found an appropriate solution in a place that I had already experienced to a small degree: the Air Force. And then, after several months of doctorate-worthy research and planning, I finally had the courage to enlist in December. As I said last year, the decision came down to whether or not I wanted to start completely fresh, and I have decided that that is precisely what I want to do. The only difference is that instead of just moving to a new city and trying to find happiness, I am doing something that will fulfill many of my live-long dreams, and letting the happiness come naturally.
It's important to note that making a decision of this magnitude took a lot more courage than I am used to putting forth. And because of that, I am going to consider the courage portion of my 2009 resolutions a success. The other half of my resolution was respect. I wanted to respect the sacrifices that my family and friends have made for me, by taking full responsibility for my life. I can think of no greater way to take responsibility than by making a life-altering decision from which you can not back out. However, there were plenty of instances in 2009 where I could have showed much more courage, and times where I should have put others before myself. Therefore, despite relative success, I will continue to build upon the progress I made on my 2009 resolutions.
But what about 2010? This year holds a lot of unknowns for me, so it is difficult to plan too far ahead. If all goes well, I will be writing my 2011 resolutions from a laptop on a plane in some foreign country. But regardless of the uncertainty inherent in the military, nothing good will come from this unless I am completely dedicated. Therefore, my 2010 New Year's Resolution is to maintain a steadfast dedication to every decision I make. This will manifest itself most obviously in my new career field, as it will take my full dedication to complete my training successfully. However, I will attempt to dedicate myself wholeheartedly to everything I do, in every aspect of my life. This will not be an easy task for someone who struggles with motivation, but it is one that will be necessary if I am to succeed at fulfilling my dreams.
2009 was certainly one of the most eventful years in my life, and I truly hope 2010 will be so, too. Happy New Year, and may you have nothing but success in fulfilling your resolutions as well!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Politically Incorrect? Good.
I have a confession to make...I'm a faker. Anytime I'm in a discussion with a friend about politics, I'm shooting from the hip.
Truth is, I know nothing about government. And I'm very grateful for that.
Many of my friends spend a considerable portion of their free time reading this magazine or that, and learning where our various leaders stand on certain issues. Many of these friends, whether they mean to or not, look down upon those of us who choose not to stay up on the political landscape of our country. If I were to tell many of my friends that I don't know the first point of debate on the current healthcare bill, they would look at me like I just sprouted a third arm. But truth is, I know very little about this bill (and, as far as I know, my arm count remains at two.)
So the question is: why? Why do I ignore such a huge portion of modern culture? And the answer is easy for me. I think it's pointless. Now, before you get defensive, please don't read too much into that. I don't believe that politics, as a whole, are pointless. I just think that listening to politicians, and reading articles, and following debates is pointless. Furthermore, I think listening to TOO much political talk actually hurts you more than it helps. Let me explain.
I have friends on varying levels of political know-how, and I've noticed a trend developing. The friends who are more knowledgeable of the political landscape become increasingly good at categorization. This idea is too liberal, that idea is too conservative. The other idea is socialist, and that's terrible. It appears that good political debaters are nothing more than good categorizers. Once they become good enough, they get an idea of where they should categorize themselves...and that's where the problems start.
Because once you've placed yourself in box, you find it difficult to think outside of it. Any new decision that is placed in front of you is now seen only through the lens of your box, and you follow your box's leaders wherever they may take you. The danger here is obvious: by categorizing yourself as a member of a certain box, you automatically give up some of your right to form an opinion, even if it's at an unconscious level.
I don't like that. I prefer my opinions come from my very own mix of heartfelt morality and logical reasoning. And I have found that my views hardly ever fit into one nice, neat box. But that's good, because I can peek into other boxes and see if I like them better..and all without fearing that I will anger someone back in my box. And while it may be far-fetched, I like to think that if our elected leaders subscribed to that philosophy, rather than concerning themselves about how their choices will please the members of their box, we could solve a lot of our problems a LOT quicker.
Truth is, I know nothing about government. And I'm very grateful for that.
Many of my friends spend a considerable portion of their free time reading this magazine or that, and learning where our various leaders stand on certain issues. Many of these friends, whether they mean to or not, look down upon those of us who choose not to stay up on the political landscape of our country. If I were to tell many of my friends that I don't know the first point of debate on the current healthcare bill, they would look at me like I just sprouted a third arm. But truth is, I know very little about this bill (and, as far as I know, my arm count remains at two.)
So the question is: why? Why do I ignore such a huge portion of modern culture? And the answer is easy for me. I think it's pointless. Now, before you get defensive, please don't read too much into that. I don't believe that politics, as a whole, are pointless. I just think that listening to politicians, and reading articles, and following debates is pointless. Furthermore, I think listening to TOO much political talk actually hurts you more than it helps. Let me explain.
I have friends on varying levels of political know-how, and I've noticed a trend developing. The friends who are more knowledgeable of the political landscape become increasingly good at categorization. This idea is too liberal, that idea is too conservative. The other idea is socialist, and that's terrible. It appears that good political debaters are nothing more than good categorizers. Once they become good enough, they get an idea of where they should categorize themselves...and that's where the problems start.
Because once you've placed yourself in box, you find it difficult to think outside of it. Any new decision that is placed in front of you is now seen only through the lens of your box, and you follow your box's leaders wherever they may take you. The danger here is obvious: by categorizing yourself as a member of a certain box, you automatically give up some of your right to form an opinion, even if it's at an unconscious level.
I don't like that. I prefer my opinions come from my very own mix of heartfelt morality and logical reasoning. And I have found that my views hardly ever fit into one nice, neat box. But that's good, because I can peek into other boxes and see if I like them better..and all without fearing that I will anger someone back in my box. And while it may be far-fetched, I like to think that if our elected leaders subscribed to that philosophy, rather than concerning themselves about how their choices will please the members of their box, we could solve a lot of our problems a LOT quicker.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Hurry up and wait...
Well, I wasn't able to write the letter from my last post in 'a couple of weeks' as I had hoped....but it's looking more and more like I will be able to write it eventually, and THAT is the important part.
Since that posting, I have taken great steps towards my goal. I have passed the physical (including the daunting depth perception test) and I have swore into the Delayed Enlistment Program. Now, I am waiting for a slot to open up in one of the four job areas I was required to list, and I am hopeful that I will have more information to report by January.
I still have many obstacles to overcome. However, as I have said before, this is the first time in as long as I can remember that I have felt truly motivated towards a goal. While I have yet to have to really sacrifice for this goal, I have made tremendous leaps in that department. The 20 pounds that I lost to make weight, by itself, was much more sacrifice that I have made in a very long time. I now know that if I keep my goal in mind, I am capable of much more than I have ever shown before.
And that's a good realization to have, because I WILL have to sacrifice to get to where I want to be. The further I get into the process, the more I realize how much work I will have to put in. But the good news is that I am still prepared to do it.
So again I will offer some advice to a future me in despair: If the path you're on seems a little too rocky, don't forget to look up to the light at the end of the road.
Since that posting, I have taken great steps towards my goal. I have passed the physical (including the daunting depth perception test) and I have swore into the Delayed Enlistment Program. Now, I am waiting for a slot to open up in one of the four job areas I was required to list, and I am hopeful that I will have more information to report by January.
I still have many obstacles to overcome. However, as I have said before, this is the first time in as long as I can remember that I have felt truly motivated towards a goal. While I have yet to have to really sacrifice for this goal, I have made tremendous leaps in that department. The 20 pounds that I lost to make weight, by itself, was much more sacrifice that I have made in a very long time. I now know that if I keep my goal in mind, I am capable of much more than I have ever shown before.
And that's a good realization to have, because I WILL have to sacrifice to get to where I want to be. The further I get into the process, the more I realize how much work I will have to put in. But the good news is that I am still prepared to do it.
So again I will offer some advice to a future me in despair: If the path you're on seems a little too rocky, don't forget to look up to the light at the end of the road.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
A letter I hope to write in a week or two...
To all my close friends and family,
I have recently made the decision to enlist in the United States Air Force. After speaking at length with a recruiter and several current Airmen, I have secured a position as a loadmaster, and I will leave for Basic Training early next year. After my training, I will spend the next four years on board either a C-17 or a C-130 aircraft, traveling all over the world to deliver supplies and troops to those in need. This was not a decision that was made lightly, and I want to take a moment to explain my reasoning to everyone whom I truly care about, in the hope that I can ease concerns many of you may have.
This choice has been over 4 years in the making, dating back to my decision to join the Air Force ROTC program at Pitt. At that time, I knew that the Air Force would provide me with opportunities that no civilian company could. Ultimately, however, I did not feel completely prepared to make the long commitment required of an aviation officer.
After spending nearly two years in the civilian world, I have gained a much clearer vision of my future. It has become increasingly clear to me that the risks involved with my enlistment are greatly overshadowed by the numerous lifetime goals that this decision will help me achieve. These goals- traveling the world, flying on a regular basis, working in an ever-changing environment, staying in great shape, and gaining experience that will help me for the rest of my life- can all be fulfilled by this lifestyle, and all that is asked in return is a four-year commitment.
Please understand, though, that I am not taking this commitment lightly. Even now, I am not completely sure that this will be a life I will fully enjoy at all times. In fact, I may even have moments where I question my decision-making....and this is where you come in.
As the people who matter most to me, it is your opinion that I hold highest, and your support that I cherish the most. I am sure you can imagine the great amount of uncertainty and anxiety that go into the choice to leave everything you've known for the past 24 years. In that light, I would ask that you give me your undivided support, as well as your honest insight into the challenges I may face, and how best to handle them.
In any event, I am sure that this decision will benefit me for the rest of my life. For the first time in years, I feel like my hard work will be towards a tangible and attainable goal...rather than simply the result of a standard "life plan." For this, I thank all of you for helping me reach this point, and I look forward to sharing many happy stories of adventure for years to come.
PLH,
Nick
P.S. If you have any questions about my future job/my decision making process/etc, please don't hesitate to ask!
I have recently made the decision to enlist in the United States Air Force. After speaking at length with a recruiter and several current Airmen, I have secured a position as a loadmaster, and I will leave for Basic Training early next year. After my training, I will spend the next four years on board either a C-17 or a C-130 aircraft, traveling all over the world to deliver supplies and troops to those in need. This was not a decision that was made lightly, and I want to take a moment to explain my reasoning to everyone whom I truly care about, in the hope that I can ease concerns many of you may have.
This choice has been over 4 years in the making, dating back to my decision to join the Air Force ROTC program at Pitt. At that time, I knew that the Air Force would provide me with opportunities that no civilian company could. Ultimately, however, I did not feel completely prepared to make the long commitment required of an aviation officer.
After spending nearly two years in the civilian world, I have gained a much clearer vision of my future. It has become increasingly clear to me that the risks involved with my enlistment are greatly overshadowed by the numerous lifetime goals that this decision will help me achieve. These goals- traveling the world, flying on a regular basis, working in an ever-changing environment, staying in great shape, and gaining experience that will help me for the rest of my life- can all be fulfilled by this lifestyle, and all that is asked in return is a four-year commitment.
Please understand, though, that I am not taking this commitment lightly. Even now, I am not completely sure that this will be a life I will fully enjoy at all times. In fact, I may even have moments where I question my decision-making....and this is where you come in.
As the people who matter most to me, it is your opinion that I hold highest, and your support that I cherish the most. I am sure you can imagine the great amount of uncertainty and anxiety that go into the choice to leave everything you've known for the past 24 years. In that light, I would ask that you give me your undivided support, as well as your honest insight into the challenges I may face, and how best to handle them.
In any event, I am sure that this decision will benefit me for the rest of my life. For the first time in years, I feel like my hard work will be towards a tangible and attainable goal...rather than simply the result of a standard "life plan." For this, I thank all of you for helping me reach this point, and I look forward to sharing many happy stories of adventure for years to come.
PLH,
Nick
P.S. If you have any questions about my future job/my decision making process/etc, please don't hesitate to ask!
Monday, July 20, 2009
To a future 'me': Why I'm choosing the military path
In the past, I have had a few times where I have made a decision that did not have the outcome I hoped for. Since my views change fairly often, it's been difficult for me to avoid repeating mistakes, since I struggle to remember my line of thought when I made the decision in the first place. With that in mind, I want to lay out my line of thought on why the Air Force is the best option for me at this point in my life. That way, if a future me is regretting that decision, I can look back and see why I made it (and maybe even help motivate myself to stick with it.)
Why the Military?
As I've said before, I find a lot of the military 'discipline' useless for me, but there's no denying that the training you receive turns you into a solid individual. While this aspect of the military is one of it's biggest detriments in my mind, it's easily out shined by the long list of benefits involved with the military. What other job is going to offer me the educational, travel, vacation, athletic, and excitement possibilities that an Air Force job would offer? Few civilian jobs can offer ANY of these benefits, let alone ALL of them.
Why the Air Force?
The Air Force was really the only option for me. I wanted to choose a military lifestyle that wasn't over obsessed with the traditional military views. For example, the Air Force's views on 'taking care of their own people' is light years ahead of the other branches. Their focus on education is also important. But mostly, I liked the idea of having a job that I enjoyed, with minimal chance of being on the 'front lines.'
Why now, when you already got out of it once?
Several factors played into that decision, and I feel like only one of them was really a detriment of the Air Force. As I said in a previous post, ROTC was very difficult to motivate myself to do. This was based in large part on the difference between the ROTC lifestyle, and the lifestyle of the rest of college. It was very easy for me to want to blow off my ROTC duties when I saw my friends playing football and partying. After months of this mindset, it became overwhelming. Coupled with that was the fact that I was facing a decision that would lock the next 12 years of my life. I hadn't viewed ROTC as anything but a pathway to a pilot slot. Therefore, I went in thinking that the commitment would be at least 14 years. As a college student, still figuring out their life-long desires, a commitment like that is not easily made. After viewing the dedication of some of my classmates, it was unclear to me whether this was a path that I would want to take for that long.
Now I stand, a few years of the working world under my belt, and I am still not 100% sure that the Air Force would be a career-long decision for me. However, I have also seen the offerings of another career option that I thought I would enjoy, and I know that it is not the right one for me. Since I have started to think more seriously about my long-term happiness, I am realizing that even if I get into the Air Force and do not enjoy it, the commitment term is short enough that I can still benefit from joining FAR more than I would benefit from another 4-8 years in my current field.
Have you thought about the possibility of hating this even more than your current job?
In short, yes....and it's the sole possibility that has stopped me thus far. But I should mention that while I can't see myself spending a career in this position, I'm not completely unhappy with my current job. The fact that I still consider the Air Force a better option says a lot. However, I'm a huge advocate of loving what you do on a day-to-day, and the prospect that I might not is very scary. I'm making this decision because I know that there's an extremely good chance I WILL enjoy my job...and if I don't, I should be able to use the added benefits enough to look past the day-to-day for a few years, given the benefits it will afford me after that.
Aside from that, my goal is to obtain a job that is ever-changing (such as an aircrew member.) Therefore, if I find myself in a position where I hate getting up and going to work everyday, then hopefully things will not remain that way for long, as I'll be moving on to another duty or base in the near future. In short, the small prospect of a few months or years of discomfort is worth it in favor of the large prospect of enjoying the job I obtain, and the benefits I will enjoy during/after my enlistment.
Why don't you like civilian life? What's wrong with your current job?
I can see myself getting into the military and asking this question. And it's a good one, considering that I am writing this entry while I am at work, and I have no fear about getting in trouble for my actions. The office life offers a comfortable work environment and very set hours. I can easily imagine that my life in the Air Force will not be like that.
However, there are two important things of note about my career field. First, I work with career drafters and designers, and I know for a FACT that I don't want to end up like them. While they make OK money (not great, but OK), most of them are jaded by the fact that they've spent their entire lives in front of a computer screen. They love to complain about little things, and they spend a large portion of their time being upset about trivial parts of their jobs. They are small town people with small town mindsets....and I have no desire to be a 45 year old in a bowling league talking about who is sleeping with who in my home town.
Second, my career field is a dead end. With my degree, I can be a drafter or a designer, and that's about it. If I reach a point where I want to branch out, I will have to do it at my own expense, and it will be extremely difficult. I will basically be starting over with no contacts in my new field, and I will need to go through the schooling and job search process at a much more difficult time in my life. My hope is that with the Air Force, I will make a new set of friends, and at the same time develop contact in different fields that, along with the Air Force benefits, will make any future changes in my life much easier to handle.
Do you understand how difficult it will be to adjust to this lifestyle? You know you struggle to motivate yourself...
I know that one of my biggest problems is my lack of motivation. But it doesn't follow me in every aspect of my life, just those things that I can't really justify doing. If you look at my past, I always do well with things at the beginning, because I see the world of possibilities that it will afford me. However, once I dig deeper into something and see that it's not for me, I fall off quickly. The only areas of my life where this hasn't been the case were things like soccer (which I continued to enjoy immensely the entire time I played) and physical/mental tests (where the results would stay with me, and positively/negatively affect me for years to come.) My hope is that the Air Force will be a good combination of something I enjoy doing very much and something that I can understand it's effect years down the road. And if I reach a point in my life where I begin to question my decision to join the Air Force, I will be able to read this post and be reminded of the reasons for my decision, and hopefully it will set me back on course.
Why the Military?
As I've said before, I find a lot of the military 'discipline' useless for me, but there's no denying that the training you receive turns you into a solid individual. While this aspect of the military is one of it's biggest detriments in my mind, it's easily out shined by the long list of benefits involved with the military. What other job is going to offer me the educational, travel, vacation, athletic, and excitement possibilities that an Air Force job would offer? Few civilian jobs can offer ANY of these benefits, let alone ALL of them.
Why the Air Force?
The Air Force was really the only option for me. I wanted to choose a military lifestyle that wasn't over obsessed with the traditional military views. For example, the Air Force's views on 'taking care of their own people' is light years ahead of the other branches. Their focus on education is also important. But mostly, I liked the idea of having a job that I enjoyed, with minimal chance of being on the 'front lines.'
Why now, when you already got out of it once?
Several factors played into that decision, and I feel like only one of them was really a detriment of the Air Force. As I said in a previous post, ROTC was very difficult to motivate myself to do. This was based in large part on the difference between the ROTC lifestyle, and the lifestyle of the rest of college. It was very easy for me to want to blow off my ROTC duties when I saw my friends playing football and partying. After months of this mindset, it became overwhelming. Coupled with that was the fact that I was facing a decision that would lock the next 12 years of my life. I hadn't viewed ROTC as anything but a pathway to a pilot slot. Therefore, I went in thinking that the commitment would be at least 14 years. As a college student, still figuring out their life-long desires, a commitment like that is not easily made. After viewing the dedication of some of my classmates, it was unclear to me whether this was a path that I would want to take for that long.
Now I stand, a few years of the working world under my belt, and I am still not 100% sure that the Air Force would be a career-long decision for me. However, I have also seen the offerings of another career option that I thought I would enjoy, and I know that it is not the right one for me. Since I have started to think more seriously about my long-term happiness, I am realizing that even if I get into the Air Force and do not enjoy it, the commitment term is short enough that I can still benefit from joining FAR more than I would benefit from another 4-8 years in my current field.
Have you thought about the possibility of hating this even more than your current job?
In short, yes....and it's the sole possibility that has stopped me thus far. But I should mention that while I can't see myself spending a career in this position, I'm not completely unhappy with my current job. The fact that I still consider the Air Force a better option says a lot. However, I'm a huge advocate of loving what you do on a day-to-day, and the prospect that I might not is very scary. I'm making this decision because I know that there's an extremely good chance I WILL enjoy my job...and if I don't, I should be able to use the added benefits enough to look past the day-to-day for a few years, given the benefits it will afford me after that.
Aside from that, my goal is to obtain a job that is ever-changing (such as an aircrew member.) Therefore, if I find myself in a position where I hate getting up and going to work everyday, then hopefully things will not remain that way for long, as I'll be moving on to another duty or base in the near future. In short, the small prospect of a few months or years of discomfort is worth it in favor of the large prospect of enjoying the job I obtain, and the benefits I will enjoy during/after my enlistment.
Why don't you like civilian life? What's wrong with your current job?
I can see myself getting into the military and asking this question. And it's a good one, considering that I am writing this entry while I am at work, and I have no fear about getting in trouble for my actions. The office life offers a comfortable work environment and very set hours. I can easily imagine that my life in the Air Force will not be like that.
However, there are two important things of note about my career field. First, I work with career drafters and designers, and I know for a FACT that I don't want to end up like them. While they make OK money (not great, but OK), most of them are jaded by the fact that they've spent their entire lives in front of a computer screen. They love to complain about little things, and they spend a large portion of their time being upset about trivial parts of their jobs. They are small town people with small town mindsets....and I have no desire to be a 45 year old in a bowling league talking about who is sleeping with who in my home town.
Second, my career field is a dead end. With my degree, I can be a drafter or a designer, and that's about it. If I reach a point where I want to branch out, I will have to do it at my own expense, and it will be extremely difficult. I will basically be starting over with no contacts in my new field, and I will need to go through the schooling and job search process at a much more difficult time in my life. My hope is that with the Air Force, I will make a new set of friends, and at the same time develop contact in different fields that, along with the Air Force benefits, will make any future changes in my life much easier to handle.
Do you understand how difficult it will be to adjust to this lifestyle? You know you struggle to motivate yourself...
I know that one of my biggest problems is my lack of motivation. But it doesn't follow me in every aspect of my life, just those things that I can't really justify doing. If you look at my past, I always do well with things at the beginning, because I see the world of possibilities that it will afford me. However, once I dig deeper into something and see that it's not for me, I fall off quickly. The only areas of my life where this hasn't been the case were things like soccer (which I continued to enjoy immensely the entire time I played) and physical/mental tests (where the results would stay with me, and positively/negatively affect me for years to come.) My hope is that the Air Force will be a good combination of something I enjoy doing very much and something that I can understand it's effect years down the road. And if I reach a point in my life where I begin to question my decision to join the Air Force, I will be able to read this post and be reminded of the reasons for my decision, and hopefully it will set me back on course.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Here's to big, bad decisions...and sticking to them.
My giant, several-year-long career decision funk is coming very quickly to a head. Like always, I have narrowed down my options to two basic choices, and both seem to have equal merit and risk. In the interest of putting into words the several different aspects of each decision that I have thought about, I'm going to attempt to flesh out my options in this blog, along with the pros and cons of each. Hopefully, this will help me come to a decision, as I'm going to need to make a choice within the next few months...
But first, why do I feel that I must make a decision soon? Basically, I have discovered that the 9-to-5 office life is not for me. When I left Pitt, I did so in large part because I needed to see if I really loved design as much as I thought I did. It was this supposed love that was keeping me from making the long commitment to the Air Force that would have been required of me (ten years). Additionally, I found it difficult to motivate myself in college, so ROTC was complicated by the fact that every single event required me to convince myself to go, which increasingly turned me off to the whole concept.
It's important to note that while I didn't share the enthusiasm of some of my classmates, I didn't wholly dislike the military environment. I find a lot of the "discipline" training trivial, but I feel like if it was an everyday, full-time part of my life, it would become second nature, and therefore insignificant in determining my happiness. In fact, most of the military traditions are just amplified versions of civilian life. For example, both instances offer the possibility of having a superior that you don't agree with or like. The only difference is that in the military, you can not escape this fate.
In fact, it's this mentality that has been the primary source of my denial of this option thus far: the fact that with the military comes a commitment of the next 8 to 12 years of my life. If I get a year or two into it and find out that I don't like it, there is no way to escape it for the next several years. Given my history, I know I am the type of person that gets bored quickly, and this is a very real possibility.
However, the military option definitely has tons of benefits as well. One of my major goals is to get my bachelor's degree, and the military would pay for all of this, as well as help me with the school loans I already have. I would get 30 days paid vacation each year. The income is much better than advertised, and I would actually start out at around the same income that I bring in now, once you include BAH and other benefits. The travel benefits are unmatched, and I would be able to fulfill my desire to travel to the full degree. I would be surrounded each day by people who think like me: athletic, travel-loving people who have faced similar hardships. Finally, the work environment would be ever-changing, both on a day-to-day basis and when I switch bases every few years. In short, if I end up loving my day-to-day job, the military benefits far outweigh the ones I would receive at any civilian job.
Whether I choose that option or not, the goal right now is to put myself in a situation where I can maximize my options, and therefore give myself the best chance to improve my level of happiness. The best way for me to do that right now would be to get my bachelor's degree, and this is the primary source of my second option. The military is certainly not the only way to do that, and I believe it would take longer to do while serving than if I went full time. However, if I choose to stay civilian and try to go back full time, financing becomes a major issue.
Given the amount of school loans I have out already, it's just not possible for me to go back to school on my own dime. I would probably not even be able to get more loans in this financial environment, and I would not want to pay the extra money back even if I was able to get them. This means that if I want to go back, I have to convince a company that I am working for to pay for it. This poses two problems: 1. I would need to already be with a company that I could see myself staying with for the next 5 years (in order to finish my degree and serve 2 years afterward) and 2. I would need to pursue a degree in a major that the company approves and I enjoy. It's extremely unlikely that I will be able to fulfill these scenarios, since 95% of the companies that accept my job title would have me go back to school for engineering. Aside from the major, this option also has the problem of keeping me in the same 9-to-5 desk job environment that I would very much like to escape.
Another side of the civilian option is to find a company that I enjoy working with and gaining experience in my current position while not going back to school. While this will not increase my options, it would further my value (and my paycheck) within my current career field, and increase my chances of securing a better position in the future. However, just like before, it would keep me in the same mundane office environment, without giving me many more options for the future.
The civilian side does have some very tangible benefits to it. The largest benefit to staying civilian is maintaining my freedom. If I get into a job that I don't like, I can easily quit at any time. Also, if I am living in an area that I don't enjoy, I can pick up and move at any time. Aside from career freedom, civilian life also offers a lot of personal freedom. I am free to dress how I please, to go wherever I want and do whatever I want when I am not at work. Also, my hours are very much set in stone, and my boss will rarely, if ever, bother me when I am not at work. Where as in the military, your lifestyle is closely monitored 24/7, a civilian job will not infringe upon your lifestyle, so long as it does not impact your work.
One thing that is very important in this decision is how much I actually practice the freedoms that a civilian life offers. For example, many of the freedoms I would give up in the military are things that I don't really exercise anyway, such as hair length, speaking out against the government, or drug use. Since I do not use these freedoms, I should not place too much emphasis on them. Additionally, I should be certain not to overestimate the "military lifestyle" view of things until I am sure of it's actual impact. Many of the current members of the military claim that it is not much different than an everyday job, and I should do my best to investigate that claim. Finally, I should decide just how important it is to me to have the freedom to change my lifestyle. The military commitment is a calculated risk with a long-term reward or punishment, and I should understand whether or not the benefits to taking that chance outweigh the detriments of civilian life.
But first, why do I feel that I must make a decision soon? Basically, I have discovered that the 9-to-5 office life is not for me. When I left Pitt, I did so in large part because I needed to see if I really loved design as much as I thought I did. It was this supposed love that was keeping me from making the long commitment to the Air Force that would have been required of me (ten years). Additionally, I found it difficult to motivate myself in college, so ROTC was complicated by the fact that every single event required me to convince myself to go, which increasingly turned me off to the whole concept.
It's important to note that while I didn't share the enthusiasm of some of my classmates, I didn't wholly dislike the military environment. I find a lot of the "discipline" training trivial, but I feel like if it was an everyday, full-time part of my life, it would become second nature, and therefore insignificant in determining my happiness. In fact, most of the military traditions are just amplified versions of civilian life. For example, both instances offer the possibility of having a superior that you don't agree with or like. The only difference is that in the military, you can not escape this fate.
In fact, it's this mentality that has been the primary source of my denial of this option thus far: the fact that with the military comes a commitment of the next 8 to 12 years of my life. If I get a year or two into it and find out that I don't like it, there is no way to escape it for the next several years. Given my history, I know I am the type of person that gets bored quickly, and this is a very real possibility.
However, the military option definitely has tons of benefits as well. One of my major goals is to get my bachelor's degree, and the military would pay for all of this, as well as help me with the school loans I already have. I would get 30 days paid vacation each year. The income is much better than advertised, and I would actually start out at around the same income that I bring in now, once you include BAH and other benefits. The travel benefits are unmatched, and I would be able to fulfill my desire to travel to the full degree. I would be surrounded each day by people who think like me: athletic, travel-loving people who have faced similar hardships. Finally, the work environment would be ever-changing, both on a day-to-day basis and when I switch bases every few years. In short, if I end up loving my day-to-day job, the military benefits far outweigh the ones I would receive at any civilian job.
Whether I choose that option or not, the goal right now is to put myself in a situation where I can maximize my options, and therefore give myself the best chance to improve my level of happiness. The best way for me to do that right now would be to get my bachelor's degree, and this is the primary source of my second option. The military is certainly not the only way to do that, and I believe it would take longer to do while serving than if I went full time. However, if I choose to stay civilian and try to go back full time, financing becomes a major issue.
Given the amount of school loans I have out already, it's just not possible for me to go back to school on my own dime. I would probably not even be able to get more loans in this financial environment, and I would not want to pay the extra money back even if I was able to get them. This means that if I want to go back, I have to convince a company that I am working for to pay for it. This poses two problems: 1. I would need to already be with a company that I could see myself staying with for the next 5 years (in order to finish my degree and serve 2 years afterward) and 2. I would need to pursue a degree in a major that the company approves and I enjoy. It's extremely unlikely that I will be able to fulfill these scenarios, since 95% of the companies that accept my job title would have me go back to school for engineering. Aside from the major, this option also has the problem of keeping me in the same 9-to-5 desk job environment that I would very much like to escape.
Another side of the civilian option is to find a company that I enjoy working with and gaining experience in my current position while not going back to school. While this will not increase my options, it would further my value (and my paycheck) within my current career field, and increase my chances of securing a better position in the future. However, just like before, it would keep me in the same mundane office environment, without giving me many more options for the future.
The civilian side does have some very tangible benefits to it. The largest benefit to staying civilian is maintaining my freedom. If I get into a job that I don't like, I can easily quit at any time. Also, if I am living in an area that I don't enjoy, I can pick up and move at any time. Aside from career freedom, civilian life also offers a lot of personal freedom. I am free to dress how I please, to go wherever I want and do whatever I want when I am not at work. Also, my hours are very much set in stone, and my boss will rarely, if ever, bother me when I am not at work. Where as in the military, your lifestyle is closely monitored 24/7, a civilian job will not infringe upon your lifestyle, so long as it does not impact your work.
One thing that is very important in this decision is how much I actually practice the freedoms that a civilian life offers. For example, many of the freedoms I would give up in the military are things that I don't really exercise anyway, such as hair length, speaking out against the government, or drug use. Since I do not use these freedoms, I should not place too much emphasis on them. Additionally, I should be certain not to overestimate the "military lifestyle" view of things until I am sure of it's actual impact. Many of the current members of the military claim that it is not much different than an everyday job, and I should do my best to investigate that claim. Finally, I should decide just how important it is to me to have the freedom to change my lifestyle. The military commitment is a calculated risk with a long-term reward or punishment, and I should understand whether or not the benefits to taking that chance outweigh the detriments of civilian life.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
To a future 'me': Thoughts on excuses
I've never condoned the use of excuses to avoid responsibilities for one's problems. I feel like making excuses for why things didn't go your way is the easy way out of doing everything you can to ensure they DO go your way in the future.
However, after a long discussion with my Mom about why things aren't going my way, in which she divulged every possible excuse I could have come up with, I realized that excuses aren't always deflectors of responsibility. Sometimes they are "band-aids."
For example, saying things like "That's just the way things are." or "It takes time." or "If it's meant to be, then it will work out," when used incorrectly, can cause the person saying them to let go of the things that didn't work out. Instead, I realized, these phrases can be used as a temporary remedy to anxiety over not getting your way. Without this temporary relief, the constant attempts to advance towards your goals can burn you out long before you reach them. Every once in a while, then, it pays to just chalk up your inadequacies to fate....at least for a day.
In my life, this idea manifests itself in my desire to lead a more "free" life. My immediate reaction is to want this lifestyle NOW, before I am too old to enjoy it. However, I've realized that I must first take care of my debts, gain experience in my field, and polish myself as a person before I can take the leap in lifestyle.
So if a future version of myself is reading this, looking for insight in a time of despair, remember this: If it's meant to be, it will work out. It takes time. But, most importantly, only remember these things for a little bit...
However, after a long discussion with my Mom about why things aren't going my way, in which she divulged every possible excuse I could have come up with, I realized that excuses aren't always deflectors of responsibility. Sometimes they are "band-aids."
For example, saying things like "That's just the way things are." or "It takes time." or "If it's meant to be, then it will work out," when used incorrectly, can cause the person saying them to let go of the things that didn't work out. Instead, I realized, these phrases can be used as a temporary remedy to anxiety over not getting your way. Without this temporary relief, the constant attempts to advance towards your goals can burn you out long before you reach them. Every once in a while, then, it pays to just chalk up your inadequacies to fate....at least for a day.
In my life, this idea manifests itself in my desire to lead a more "free" life. My immediate reaction is to want this lifestyle NOW, before I am too old to enjoy it. However, I've realized that I must first take care of my debts, gain experience in my field, and polish myself as a person before I can take the leap in lifestyle.
So if a future version of myself is reading this, looking for insight in a time of despair, remember this: If it's meant to be, it will work out. It takes time. But, most importantly, only remember these things for a little bit...
Monday, April 20, 2009
Give me a rowboat or give me death
Perhaps it's appropriate that I want to move to an island. Because sometimes, I feel like I'm already on one.
I don't claim to be strong enough, smart enough, or fast enough to join the world's rich; floating around the Caribbean in their super yachts, powered by the automated cash flow that years of superb decision making has awarded them. And yet I always wondered what, if anything, separated me from them. Perhaps I, too, could float around the Caribbean, if only in a sailboat, kept afloat by a small business or remote career. Certainly this lifestyle isn't just for the ultra wealthy, right?
Everything I had learned up until about a year ago told me that only by becoming a millionaire could I live out such a fantasy. However, I'm starting to believe that with the proper motivation, anyone can achieve this lifestyle. Unfortunately, it just takes a little longer than I had hoped. I'm a person who wants immediate results; I won't do many things that don't show me a benefit on-the-spot. Aside from being a bad life motto to begin with, this belief makes it very difficult to take the painful, necessary steps towards a care-free lifestyle...especially when you are unsure what steps to take and how successful they will ultimately be.
I do know one thing for certain: there are three levels of living. One is the basics; food, shelter, some form of companionship. These are the things that everyone requires to survive, and there are people who survive on just this. The second is the American lifestyle; a life of excess, a life of bigger, faster, more....now. And somewhere in between is the lifestyle of contentedness. A life where you do not struggle to provide for yourself, in part because you do not require as much. You are happy with a few small comforts and a deep connection with your fellow man.
This is the lifestyle I seek. And I fear I am one of the few in this area. Each day, I watch more of my friends dedicating more of their time to doing more work to make more money to buy more unnecessary things to have more....more, more, more. They are proud to be Americans. I, on the other hand, am an agent of better. My life will not be defined by accumulation of wealth, but by accumulation of experience. And that mindset has no place here.
Wherever I end up, you can be certain it will be a place that embraces the concept of better experiences over more possessions. I just hope it's not only accessible by yacht.
I don't claim to be strong enough, smart enough, or fast enough to join the world's rich; floating around the Caribbean in their super yachts, powered by the automated cash flow that years of superb decision making has awarded them. And yet I always wondered what, if anything, separated me from them. Perhaps I, too, could float around the Caribbean, if only in a sailboat, kept afloat by a small business or remote career. Certainly this lifestyle isn't just for the ultra wealthy, right?
Everything I had learned up until about a year ago told me that only by becoming a millionaire could I live out such a fantasy. However, I'm starting to believe that with the proper motivation, anyone can achieve this lifestyle. Unfortunately, it just takes a little longer than I had hoped. I'm a person who wants immediate results; I won't do many things that don't show me a benefit on-the-spot. Aside from being a bad life motto to begin with, this belief makes it very difficult to take the painful, necessary steps towards a care-free lifestyle...especially when you are unsure what steps to take and how successful they will ultimately be.
I do know one thing for certain: there are three levels of living. One is the basics; food, shelter, some form of companionship. These are the things that everyone requires to survive, and there are people who survive on just this. The second is the American lifestyle; a life of excess, a life of bigger, faster, more....now. And somewhere in between is the lifestyle of contentedness. A life where you do not struggle to provide for yourself, in part because you do not require as much. You are happy with a few small comforts and a deep connection with your fellow man.
This is the lifestyle I seek. And I fear I am one of the few in this area. Each day, I watch more of my friends dedicating more of their time to doing more work to make more money to buy more unnecessary things to have more....more, more, more. They are proud to be Americans. I, on the other hand, am an agent of better. My life will not be defined by accumulation of wealth, but by accumulation of experience. And that mindset has no place here.
Wherever I end up, you can be certain it will be a place that embraces the concept of better experiences over more possessions. I just hope it's not only accessible by yacht.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
A tall order
As you may have gathered by now, I am a big proponent of getting the real story behind socially accepted 'truths.' Not surprisingly, this often does not agree with the public view of things, and I go to great lengths to make sure my own beliefs are founded upon things other than rumor and social proof.
Having said that, I have long believed that the decision making process that goes into choosing our leaders goes well beyond the public perception. Even with the acknowledgment and supposed defiance of the modern man to certain prejudices, everyone is subject to influences that we may not even be aware of. And in many ways, these influences are much more dangerous than the ones we can attempt to consciously ignore.
For example, everyone is aware of the long and well documented history of prejudice against African-Americans. Similarly, everyone is aware of the trials women have had to endure through the years. Because of this awareness, we have learned to respect these people equally or, at the very least, to compensate for our natural prejudice. But what are we to do in the face of a prejudice which we are unaware we possess? We like to think we are in control of our emotions, but often times we know little more or our bias than what society makes us aware of.
Perhaps the largest of these 'blind biases' is the height bias. Height bias is our unconscious tendency to favor taller people in positions of power. It stems from our genetic desire for security, which the larger, more intimidating of our ancestors were better equipped to provide. However, the true danger of this bias lies in it's social acceptability; not only are we blissfully unaware of this bias as a whole, but the few members of our society who pay attention to it do not accept it as a serious threat. In fact, about half of people polled believe that a person's height does not affect his ability to succeed in society.
But how much do we really know about this bias? Are we really equipped to claim it's effectiveness is so low? The answer, of course, is no. To find the true measure of this bias, one need only look at the leaders of our country. For example, the United States has held 54 presidential elections. The shorter candidate in these elections has one the popular vote only 11 times. Of the Fortune 500 CEOs, 97% are over 5'7" tall, and the average height is 3 inches above the national average. Countless times in popular media, shorter men are ridiculed for their height in ways that would seem discriminatory if based on race or sex.
Even Darwin shows us that this bias has existed long beyond it's necessity. For example, it is commonly believed that Napoleon was excessively short. However, the English translation of Napoleon's height puts him at approximately 5'6" tall, which actually made him slightly taller than the average Frenchman of his time. Since then, the average height of a male has gone up nearly 4 inches. This is solid proof that taller males are considerably more successful at mating than shorter ones.
So how do we prevent this from happening? It's tempting to consider professional training as the correct answer. However, height bias begins long before we hit the workforce. In fact, grade school bullying is much higher amongst shorter students, and it's easy to draw the connection to the lower self esteem measured in shorter adults. Perhaps this is a sign that the remedy to our prejudice begins with proper parenting. Parents need to explain to their children the effects of discrimination against ANYone, not just those groups with well documented struggles. Only then will we be able to live in a world where the little guy truly can come out on top.
Having said that, I have long believed that the decision making process that goes into choosing our leaders goes well beyond the public perception. Even with the acknowledgment and supposed defiance of the modern man to certain prejudices, everyone is subject to influences that we may not even be aware of. And in many ways, these influences are much more dangerous than the ones we can attempt to consciously ignore.
For example, everyone is aware of the long and well documented history of prejudice against African-Americans. Similarly, everyone is aware of the trials women have had to endure through the years. Because of this awareness, we have learned to respect these people equally or, at the very least, to compensate for our natural prejudice. But what are we to do in the face of a prejudice which we are unaware we possess? We like to think we are in control of our emotions, but often times we know little more or our bias than what society makes us aware of.
Perhaps the largest of these 'blind biases' is the height bias. Height bias is our unconscious tendency to favor taller people in positions of power. It stems from our genetic desire for security, which the larger, more intimidating of our ancestors were better equipped to provide. However, the true danger of this bias lies in it's social acceptability; not only are we blissfully unaware of this bias as a whole, but the few members of our society who pay attention to it do not accept it as a serious threat. In fact, about half of people polled believe that a person's height does not affect his ability to succeed in society.
But how much do we really know about this bias? Are we really equipped to claim it's effectiveness is so low? The answer, of course, is no. To find the true measure of this bias, one need only look at the leaders of our country. For example, the United States has held 54 presidential elections. The shorter candidate in these elections has one the popular vote only 11 times. Of the Fortune 500 CEOs, 97% are over 5'7" tall, and the average height is 3 inches above the national average. Countless times in popular media, shorter men are ridiculed for their height in ways that would seem discriminatory if based on race or sex.
Even Darwin shows us that this bias has existed long beyond it's necessity. For example, it is commonly believed that Napoleon was excessively short. However, the English translation of Napoleon's height puts him at approximately 5'6" tall, which actually made him slightly taller than the average Frenchman of his time. Since then, the average height of a male has gone up nearly 4 inches. This is solid proof that taller males are considerably more successful at mating than shorter ones.
So how do we prevent this from happening? It's tempting to consider professional training as the correct answer. However, height bias begins long before we hit the workforce. In fact, grade school bullying is much higher amongst shorter students, and it's easy to draw the connection to the lower self esteem measured in shorter adults. Perhaps this is a sign that the remedy to our prejudice begins with proper parenting. Parents need to explain to their children the effects of discrimination against ANYone, not just those groups with well documented struggles. Only then will we be able to live in a world where the little guy truly can come out on top.
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