So tomorrow morning I head down to MEPS to start the process of shipping out for BMT. I ship out Tuesday afternoon, but tonight will be the last night I spend in this house for quite some time. What I said last month about feeling that this is the right decision still holds true, but I am well beyond the point where decision-making is going to play a role; I am going to the Air Force, and there are no two ways about it!
Perhaps the fact that the decision is now out of my hands has something to do with my state of mind right now. Or, perhaps it's just that this change is of such great magnitude that I am incapable of fully absorbing it. Whatever the reason, I can say for certain that the fact that I'm leaving has not fully set in. Not even close. I'm much calmer and subdued than I thought I would be. That could very well change as I'm signing my final contract tomorrow, but for now I feel good.
Regardless of my emotional state, it's been very helpful to look back on my past posts and see how my thought process has progressed throughout this process. I can't wait to sign back on in a few months and see how much I've changed....until then, so long!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Two-month Update
So it's been almost two months since I found out what job I'll be doing in the Air Force. That means I am about halfway through my waiting period between the day I found out and the day I leave for BMT. Time sure does fly!
I'm writing now because a few months into any major decision is usually the first time I start having my second thoughts about it. Typically, it takes about this long for me to start seeing the depths of my decision. And while it will still be a long time before I know the "down and dirty" aspects of my future job, the fact that I am leaving home and setting off on my own has definitely had time to set in.
So how do I feel about it? I'd be lying if I said I haven't had ANY second thoughts about my choice. There are brief times when I think "what the hell am I doing?" However, the important word there is "brief." Any time I think like that, I can quickly access my mental list of reasons why I'm doing this, and answer the question that usually causes me so much distress: Is this the right choice?
Two months into my knowledge of my future, I am happy to say that I still feel I made the right choice!
I'm writing now because a few months into any major decision is usually the first time I start having my second thoughts about it. Typically, it takes about this long for me to start seeing the depths of my decision. And while it will still be a long time before I know the "down and dirty" aspects of my future job, the fact that I am leaving home and setting off on my own has definitely had time to set in.
So how do I feel about it? I'd be lying if I said I haven't had ANY second thoughts about my choice. There are brief times when I think "what the hell am I doing?" However, the important word there is "brief." Any time I think like that, I can quickly access my mental list of reasons why I'm doing this, and answer the question that usually causes me so much distress: Is this the right choice?
Two months into my knowledge of my future, I am happy to say that I still feel I made the right choice!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A clearer picture of my future
I recently got great news: I have secured a position as a loadmaster in the Air Force! I will leave for Basic Training (BMT) on April 27th. By this time next year, I should be completing my on-the-job training, and headed towards my first duty station...from which I will travel all over the world delivering troops and supplies to those in need.
I am extremely excited to begin this new adventure, even with the many challenges I will face. And equally as exciting is the fact that I recently discovered the key to dedicating myself to successfully completing my training...which I felt would be the hardest obstacle in this process, considering my documented problems with motivation.
After speaking with a clinical psychologist (thanks Reddit!) I have identified the major causes for lack of motivation. Anytime in my past that I've tried to motivate myself to do something, it has been difficult because I could never quite see the end of the road. While, on some level, I knew my work would have a positive outcome, there was never a tangible thing that I could point to and say "THIS is what I've been working towards." In college, for example, I knew that having a degree could be helpful to me. However, the degree itself was never something I desired, and there was no guarantee of success afterwards. Because of this, I struggled to motivate myself.
However, with my future in the Air Force, I can easily point to a number of direct benefits that completing my training will afford me. Most importantly, I have a vivid image that sums up what I hope to achieve with my career, and a clear path to that image. Because of this, it is much easier for me to motivate myself to work towards this goal, even though the path will be much more difficult than some of my goals in the past.
I certainly have a long way to go, and I have merely scratched the surface of what a life in the Air Force will entail. However, I remain hopeful that the outcome of my training will be a rewarding couple of years, and perhaps even a rewarding career. And I plan on dedicating myself wholeheartedly to that hope.
I am extremely excited to begin this new adventure, even with the many challenges I will face. And equally as exciting is the fact that I recently discovered the key to dedicating myself to successfully completing my training...which I felt would be the hardest obstacle in this process, considering my documented problems with motivation.
After speaking with a clinical psychologist (thanks Reddit!) I have identified the major causes for lack of motivation. Anytime in my past that I've tried to motivate myself to do something, it has been difficult because I could never quite see the end of the road. While, on some level, I knew my work would have a positive outcome, there was never a tangible thing that I could point to and say "THIS is what I've been working towards." In college, for example, I knew that having a degree could be helpful to me. However, the degree itself was never something I desired, and there was no guarantee of success afterwards. Because of this, I struggled to motivate myself.
However, with my future in the Air Force, I can easily point to a number of direct benefits that completing my training will afford me. Most importantly, I have a vivid image that sums up what I hope to achieve with my career, and a clear path to that image. Because of this, it is much easier for me to motivate myself to work towards this goal, even though the path will be much more difficult than some of my goals in the past.
I certainly have a long way to go, and I have merely scratched the surface of what a life in the Air Force will entail. However, I remain hopeful that the outcome of my training will be a rewarding couple of years, and perhaps even a rewarding career. And I plan on dedicating myself wholeheartedly to that hope.
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